Astrological Advice
by freya kurenai
Summary: A better connection with Zero... he'd have given anything for that, and now Ichijou was offering it to him... he sensed a trap, but for the greater good, he would ignore it. Anything to have a better connection with his temperamental lover.


Ichijou smiled. And suddenly, Kaname wanted to run.

Far away.

"Kaname, have you ever wondered what Zero-kun's sign is?" the blonde asked, flipping through one of his manga's and waiting patiently for the pure blood's reply, which came a few moments later.

"Why would I want to know that?" He'd thought Ichijou was going to ask him if he'd done his paperwork, or if Zero had been able to attend his classes that morning. He knew he'd be in a world of hurt if the blonde found out that both questions would be answerable by a simple two-letter word. Since he wasn't, he was now free to feel genuinely curious.

"Oh, nothing, I thought you'd like to know it... since it does say here that if you knew your partner's astrological points, you could have a better connection with them." the Ichijou heir knew to an inch the suddenly interested gleam in his friend's eyes, and he fought hard not to smile too much, lest Kaname think he had a plan up his sleeve. He didn't have one at the moment.

Kaname, on his part, had a thoughtful expression on his face. A better connection with Zero... he'd have given anything for _that_, and now Ichijou was offering it to him... he sensed a trap, but for the greater good, he would ignore it. Anything to have a better connection with his temperamental lover.

"Alright then... let's see what you've got, Takuma." the pure blood leaned back in his chair and placed his hands on his lap. Ichijou nodded. "I'll read some descriptions, and you tell me if they fit Zero-kun, and then I'll tell you how to smooth things out with him." Kaname nodded and Ichijou's smile widened.

"First off... _powerful and faithful, the men born under this sign is made for leadership and high positions, eager is he to make sure that everyone gets their fair share. They believe in the saying 'look before you leap', hinting that he is cautious and thinks twice before he does anything. He has a positive attitude towards his family and his work, thus he is a person you'd love to work with_."

A moment of silence and both vampires shook their heads.

"Zero may be cautious, but he is not as social as that description makes him out to be."

"Next, then..._frank but optimistic, the man under this sign is ready to please, placing himself after others and is ultimately willing to serve_..." Ichijou laughs suddenly, and Kaname can not blame him. Zero was nothing like that.

"Alright... _materialistic and brave, thoughtful in spite of his selfishness and is usually polite and considerate. He is ready to help, for a price, but his help is always reliable and never failing. His diligence and hard work make him a formidable man to go against_..."

"No. Zero does things because they're either his duty, or Cross asked him to, or I asked him to. And though he _is _reliable, he never asks for anything in return."

"Right, because you see it as your duty to reward him anyway."

"Correct."

"Moving on... _emotional and opportunistic. Clever and sensitive to others, a shoulder to cry on and a trustworthy friend. He is able to face any difficulty and is caring towards his lovers, prone as he is to having more than one at a given time_. Huh, something of a playboy type?"

"No." Kaname was glaring now.

Ichijou laughed and flipped the page.

"_Honest and elegant, a fashion icon in his circles of friends, a socialite in the high rise. Creative and artistic, he loves colors and passion, romance and music_. Something tells me that if we see Zero-kun sporting something Versace any time soon, that would mean he'd been fatally wounded somewhere in his head."

The pure blood nodded solemnly. "It's not that he doesn't have a sense of style, just that he prefers casual clothes. Besides, if it were up to me, I'd dress him in---"

"Too much information than is necessary." Ichijou sang, which made Kaname pause and gesture for him to continue.

"_The embodiment of luck, virtue and peace. Confident and sturdy, the men of this sign are usually defined as stiff and boring, but beneath the surface lies bravery and passion, generosity and the will to make his dreams come true_."

"Hmmm... I think Zero's more of a rebel, don't you?"

"Oh, yes! The girls think he's such a mystery... No one knows he's actually just a puppy with a big gun."

"Yes, he_ is_, isn't he?"

"Snap out of it."

"Right."

"Hem... _well groomed and successful in terms of romance. A Romeo without a Juliet, he is equipped with exceptional judgment and is very conscientious, always dancing to the tune of old times' amour_."

"..."

"_Stubborn and hot headed, this man prefers to work alone and hardly ever accepts the help offered by others_. I think we have a hit!"

"Read more, we might..."

"_Kind hearted and well liked by others despite his attitude, this man is an ace at money matters but a joker in love affairs. He prefers the company of mountains and quiet areas, and dislikes violence_... never mind."

"Next one."

"You've... gotten hooked."

"I don't care, Takuma."

"Very well. _Elegance and charm, a nature lover that detests even the slightest hint of violence and bloodshed_--- moving on... Oh, it seems to be the last one."

Kaname nodded, internally cheering-- this final one _had _to be Zero's. There weren't any other options.

"Last one... _independent, loves to work by himself and has a stubborn will. Cares much for the people he considers as family, and usually has a somewhat warped sense of justice because of the blows life has dealt to him. He enjoys success, but refrains from being the center of attentions. There is a surprisingly seductive innocence beneath his cool exterior and_---"

"That's it!" Kaname exclaimed, sitting up suddenly and fixing his gaze on the back of the book. "Tell me, now."

"Let me finish first... _beneath his cool exterior and_, oh you'll love this, _finds himself almost always insecure and needing guidance, which may even take the form of his worst enemy_."

The smile on Kaname's face was almost dreamy, if not for the fact that his eyes were gleaming with determination.

"Alright. It says here that if you want Zero-kun to become more attached to you, you have to take things slow. Yes, slow. _Woo him with romantic dinners and walks in the moonlight _--preferably when he doesn't have prefect duties-- _to assure him that you are not in this relationship for his (admittedly attractive) body alone_. I hope you're listening Kaname."

"Yes, yes, please go on." Was that a mini-notepad on the pure blood's knee???

"_Surprise him with simple gifts like short notes and kisses_, but make sure you are allowed to do this in public. Next, _when you have gained his trust and affections with these simple acts, do not be afraid to take things faster. A night of passion will be followed by many more if you play your cards right _--no more chess for you, I guess-- _and if you remember to __**respect your partner's boundaries**_. That means no sex in the utility closet unless he wants it. You can grope him, but no third base until you're in your room."

"Yes, mother. I'll be sure to take your advice," the pureblood replied, looking every bit the part of a 'grateful son'.

Ichijou narrowed his eyes and smirked. "See to it that you do."

Kaname almost choked. "Is... that all?"

"Yes," Ichijou nodded, and then gave Kaname a gentle look, "Basically, you have to treat him right, Kaname. Zero-kun's special, isn't he?"

The pure blood's expression turned to such a serious one that the Ichijou heir was mildly t5taken aback.

"Yes. He is. Thank you for the tips, Takuma, rest assured I will heed them."

As Kaname began to walk out the room, he paused. Looking over his shoulder, he asked,

"So... I'm excused from my paperwork? I need time to plan how I'm going to play my cards..." smirking lightly, the older vampire let a moment pass before he asked again, "Takuma?"

"Oh, fine. For Zero-kun's sake."

Smiling almost giddily to himself, Kaname thought, if being sweet to Zero was the answer to all his prayers, he was going to have to do it more often than he already did.

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**Author's Notes: **Taken from SACRIFICE, a one-shot I should've respected. The astrological signs were taken from my mother's planner, and the final one is the Tiger. Matsuri Hino places Zero as a Dog, but I set that information aside for the sake of the story. That Takuma may dare to offer Kaname advice is one of the headcanon-dynamics I've worked out between them. Also, a belated Happy Year of the Tiger! I just realized I failed to post this properly, even if I'd ripped it from SACRIFICE months ago.

R&R, good folks.


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